


hair of the dog

by calmena



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Eggsy is Drunk, Eggsy is a Hot Mess, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Harry is Amused, Harry is a Gentleman, M/M, Merlin has decided that Harry makes a good dog sitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 17:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3738049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmena/pseuds/calmena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is used to sometimes watching the other agents' dogs. Merlin seems to think he needs the company, and who is Harry to disagree? However, the young man standing in his backyard, petting Ector's dog, at <i>three in the morning</i>? That's new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hair of the dog

**Author's Note:**

> Remember [this tumblr post](http://mystatusquo.tumblr.com/post/116215826468/theappleppielifestyle-list-of-aus-to-consider) with this prompt: ‘i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night’ au? Yeah, I wrote it.

Harry doesn't get another dog after Mr. Pickles dies. He isn't home enough to properly care for one, and he doesn't have anybody who'd look after it while he's away. It would just end up staying at the mansion a lot, so he doesn't see why he'd bother.

Of course, Merlin forces one of the other agent's dogs on him once in a while, anyway, because, as he says, Harry just "needs to have a dog sometimes". Harry isn't quite sure what Merlin means by that, but he suspects it's because he knows that Harry still misses Mr. Pickles' soft snuffling in his silent house sometimes. (It's been almost twenty years, he's mostly used to it, but occasionally the silence just gets too much, anyway.)

So Merlin has decided to make Harry the other agents' dog sitter whenever he's in the city. It's not really an inconvenience, Harry quite likes having the company. The dogs get on with him well enough, in any case.

However, as he is now finding out, Ector's dog can be quite a bothersome creature sometimes, first scrabbling at Harry's bedroom door, and finally, once Harry is sure he will not get any more sleep anytime soon, whimpering until Harry gets up and lets her out, because apparently three in the morning is a time when Princess (and yes, the name of Ector's dog had been and still was a source of great amusement to all other Kingsman agents) needs to go outside.

Harry sighs, leaving the door to his small backyard slightly ajar, and goes to make himself a cup of tea. If nothing else, it might help him go to sleep after Princess has decided she's had enough of being outside for tonight.

He's almost finished sipping his tea when he notices she still hasn't reappeared, and he frowns. Spoiled as she is (and she really is, to insist on being let out at three in the morning like it's her good right. He'll have to talk to Ector about teaching his dog that kind of behaviour.) she doesn't usually stay outside for more than a few minutes at a time when she isn't out on a walk.

Putting down his cup of tea, Harry carefully walks to the door (because if there's one thing being a Kingsman has instilled in him – besides always being a gentleman, that is – it's that you can never be too careful), and peers outside. And blinks. Because outside, Princess is just fine – more than fine, actually, going by how she's lying on the muddy ground, being thoroughly petted by a young, blond man Harry's never seen before.

Well. How... surprising.

"What—," Harry starts, then stops. For all he's used to getting into strange and unexpected situations in his line of work, this is... new. He doesn't quite know how to deal with this, especially when the young man doesn't startle, or even look at him, in favour of continuing to pet Princess (who is still not reacting as a dog should react to an intruder. She really is an incredibly spoiled dog, he finds himself thinking, incredulously).

"What are you _doing_?" Harry finally asks, but the young man just looks up at him, smiling brightly, and for a moment Harry feels like, excuse the flowery description, the sun is shining right into his face.

"I love dogs," the young man slurs, and oh, that explains how he is so incredibly calm about being found in a stranger's backyard, petting said stranger’s dog, doesn't it? He sounds quite thoroughly sloshed. "Dogs are great!"

And then he proceeds to throw up, missing Harry's feet only because he has the presence of mind to step aside when the young man abruptly turns pale.

Closing his eyes, Harry pinches the bridge of his nose, before telling Princess to go inside. Being bereft of her petting, she has no reason to stay anymore, and promptly leaves Harry alone with his unexpected guest, who has now stopped throwing up, but seems about to tip over and fall asleep right out there on Harry's lawn.

Harry sighs. He's not going to leave a young man to sleep in his backyard, even if said young man did just almost throw up on his feet.

* * *

Harry is cooking breakfast by the time he hears the first sounds from where the young man spent the night on his couch. Normally, Harry would have offered the bed and taken the couch himself, but by the time Harry had hauled the young man into his house, his new guest had been nearly unconscious and stumbled to the couch, so Harry had decided to let him sleep there.

Now, there's a lot of grumbling and some agonized moans, and Harry can't quite suppress the smirk, ungentlemanly as it is. No doubt, the young man must have quite the hangover.

He takes the time to divide the bacon and eggs onto two plates – he doesn't know whether his guest will be well enough to actually eat anything, but it would be remiss of him not to at least offer – before he takes them to the sitting room.

The young man is still where Harry put him six hours ago. It seems like he only moved to throw his arm over his eyes, blocking out the light that falls right across his face. Princess is lying in front of the couch and watching him like he's going to pet her again. Harry swallows the smile that wants to slip out at the sight, and clears his throat.

"Would you care for breakfast?"

The young man groans again, and it sounds only vaguely like a "no", like even the thought of food is too much for him right then, before he abruptly stiffens.

Ah, finally realized that he has no idea where he is, then, has he? Took him long enough.

The young man sits up in a fluid movement that completely belies the hangover he still has to have, squinting at Harry (and almost kicking Princess, though he doesn't seem to notice that, intent on watching Harry as he is).

"Where am I? Who are you?" he asks, and Harry smiles the way he knows comes across as harmless. It doesn't entirely work on the young man, who only seems to become even more suspicious, so Harry stops trying to reassure him, and puts the plates on the table in front of the couch. His guest may not want to eat anything, but Harry is hungry, and as little as he likes not eating at the dining table, he doesn't quite want to leave the young man unsupervised in his home, now that he is awake.

It would take quite some talent to act as drunk as he had seemed a few hours ago, but Harry isn't alive because he trusts people easily. Above everything, he is a Kingsman, which means he hadn't been able to sleep during the last few hours with an unknown person in his home, but at least then he'd felt secure in the knowledge that all his weapons were upstairs with him, nowhere the young man would be able to get to without alerting Harry of the fact.

"I feel like it should be me asking those questions, considering you turned up in my backyard at three in the morning, petting my dog," Harry says calmly, watching with quiet amusement as a the tips of the young man's ears turn red. "That seems like quite an unusual time to make friends with other people's pets."

Really, now that he thinks about it, the situation really is amusing in its oddness.

His guest is silent for a few moments, right up until Princess has enough of being ignored and pushes at his legs with her muzzle. He startles so badly Harry thinks he's going to fall off the couch for a moment, but he catches himself, and blurts, "Eggsy", before he reaches down to pet Princess.

"Excuse me?" Harry blinks, thrown by the seeming non-sequitur, and Eggsy looks up at him through his lashes.

"'s my name. Eggsy," he explains, and smirks, though it comes out a little lacklustre – no doubt because he's still feeling the after-effects of the alcohol from the past night.

The name seems familiar somehow, but Harry pushes it aside because with an unknown guest in his home – even if he now has a name – he really can't afford to be distracted.

"Well then, Eggsy," he starts, going back to his own gentle smile, "Would you like some water to combat that no-doubt _dreadful_ hangover of yours?"

* * *

Harry can't help but be helplessly amused when Ector comes up to him, a few days after he's returned from his mission, shaking his head.

"I don't know what you did to my dog, Harry," he says, "but she seems to be very unhappy with the amount of time I can spend petting her."

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I imagine Eggsy spent the whole day at Harry’s, petting Princess. So if she wasn’t spoiled before, she definitely is now.
> 
> Also, yes, I had to choose the most obvious title in the history of obvious titles. I couldn't help myself. And if you want to, you can [say hello on tumblr](http://mystatusquo.tumblr.com), btw.


End file.
